Homliklunhat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered swallow.

Homliklunhat created energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Homliklunhat, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Homliklunhat, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Homliklunhat's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Homliklunhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Always help otters.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Homliklunhat.

4. Never paint your arms pink.

5. Do not shave your legs.