Nargebjam is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-powerful troll.

Nargebjam created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Nargebjam, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nargebjam, it will turn you into a hamster.

Nargebjam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Nargebjam's Holy Commandments

1. Nargebjam must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Never think about cell theory.