Bombenbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful raven.

Bombenbeg created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bombenbeg, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bombenbeg, she will turn you into a plant.

Bombenbeg's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bombenbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.