Tadkopceb is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, slow jellyfish.

Tadkopceb created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Tadkopceb, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tadkopceb, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tadkopceb's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tadkopceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always stare at clouds.