Catarm is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful ferret.

Catarm created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catarm, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Catarm, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Catarm's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Catarm's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four nickel sculptures of Catarm on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

5. Always help squirrels.