Gargarsab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful shark.

Gargarsab created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gargarsab, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gargarsab, she will curse you with boils.

Gargarsab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gargarsab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow shrews for they are unholy.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Gargarsab on top of all buildings.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gargarsab.

4. Do not take Gargarsab's name in vain.

5. Gargarsab must be the most important thing in your life.