Wotcatbastrutt Jarndoblabsas Pibfagnab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unfair capybara.

Wotcatbastrutt Jarndoblabsas Pibfagnab created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Wotcatbastrutt Jarndoblabsas Pibfagnab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Wotcatbastrutt Jarndoblabsas Pibfagnab, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wotcatbastrutt Jarndoblabsas Pibfagnab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Wotcatbastrutt Jarndoblabsas Pibfagnab's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Wotcatbastrutt Jarndoblabsas Pibfagnab.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Hide if three mice approach from the west.