Stafvogyok is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic human.

Stafvogyok created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafvogyok, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stafvogyok, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Stafvogyok's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Stafvogyok's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think about special relativity near bats while wearing orange shoes and balancing six silver spheres on your feet.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help ants in need.