Pigjabgum is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous snake.

Pigjabgum created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigjabgum, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pigjabgum, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Pigjabgum's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Pigjabgum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Pigjabgum on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about gravity near moths while wearing cyan rings and balancing five titanium spheres on your hands.

3. You must pray to Pigjabgum eight times a day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think about moons.