Kemcumwip is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, cheerful rhinoceros.

Kemcumwip created an up quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemcumwip, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kemcumwip, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Kemcumwip's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Kemcumwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Kemcumwip on top of all buildings.

3. Never wear violet rings.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.