Gedpakvanwad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humorless squirrel.

Gedpakvanwad created silver four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedpakvanwad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gedpakvanwad, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gedpakvanwad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gedpakvanwad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. You must never eat parsnips.

4. Never talk about hamsters.

5. Do not covet oxen.