Bissappdub is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, selfish dingo.

Bissappdub created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissappdub, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bissappdub, she will turn you into a tree.

Bissappdub's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bissappdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near porpoises while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing five tin spheres on your neck.

3. Do not take Bissappdub's name in vain.

4. Always treat whales with great respect.

5. Never hurt great tits.