Yarpgemmil is a god.

She takes the form of a small, wise manatee.

Yarpgemmil created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpgemmil, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarpgemmil, she will think nothing of it.

Yarpgemmil's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Yarpgemmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to monkeys while wearing magenta rings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yarpgemmil.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Always wear mauve.