Tipvedran Zogcetmet Tanzenlunlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous porpoise.

Tipvedran Zogcetmet Tanzenlunlarp created the Tadpole Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipvedran Zogcetmet Tanzenlunlarp, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tipvedran Zogcetmet Tanzenlunlarp, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tipvedran Zogcetmet Tanzenlunlarp's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tipvedran Zogcetmet Tanzenlunlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Put Tipvedran Zogcetmet Tanzenlunlarp first in all things.