Xucganflan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-confident capybara.

Xucganflan created Asia nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucganflan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Xucganflan, she will turn you into a snail.

Xucganflan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Xucganflan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing cyan boots and balancing four gold spheres on your feet.