Getstanrillfed is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous centipede.

Getstanrillfed created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Getstanrillfed, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Getstanrillfed, he will remove you from existence.

Getstanrillfed's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Getstanrillfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats in need.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Never mention nematodes.