Flabmumtit is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, capable crow.

Flabmumtit created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabmumtit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flabmumtit, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flabmumtit's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Flabmumtit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Flabmumtit's name in vain.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near foxes while wearing red hats and balancing eight lead spheres on your head.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never eat bark.