Femflapcap is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, blissful badger.

Femflapcap created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femflapcap, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Femflapcap, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Femflapcap's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Femflapcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.