Hogpogbem Flatwodgut is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, temperamental hydra.

Hogpogbem Flatwodgut created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogpogbem Flatwodgut, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hogpogbem Flatwodgut, he will laugh at you.

Hogpogbem Flatwodgut's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Hogpogbem Flatwodgut's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hogpogbem Flatwodgut.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not take Hogpogbem Flatwodgut's name in vain.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.