Won is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish fish.

Won created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Won, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Won, she will try to impress you with trees.

Won's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Won's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Won loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

5. Never jump in the presence of doves.