Bisstinquat is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unselfish deer.

Bisstinquat created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bisstinquat, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bisstinquat, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bisstinquat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bisstinquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always obey Bisstinquat's priests.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bisstinquat.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.