Hatkadgud is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unselfish porpoise.

Hatkadgud created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatkadgud, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hatkadgud, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Hatkadgud's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Hatkadgud's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo rats for they are unholy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hatkadgud.