Dibflisfet is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic hydra.

Dibflisfet created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibflisfet, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dibflisfet, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dibflisfet's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Dibflisfet's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dibflisfet nine times a day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Dibflisfet loves gulls, so they must be honoured.