Femmetwap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic whale.

Femmetwap created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femmetwap, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Femmetwap, it will think nothing of it.

Femmetwap's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Femmetwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always take life seriously.