Fudwitjam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciless lobster.

Fudwitjam created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Fudwitjam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fudwitjam, it will be very unhappy.

Fudwitjam's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Fudwitjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near shrews while wearing indigo boots and balancing six silver spheres on your face.

4. Run away if seven monkeys approach from the south.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fudwitjam.