Lamlamyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless wasp.

Lamlamyarl created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamlamyarl, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lamlamyarl, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lamlamyarl's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Lamlamyarl's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Lamlamyarl four times a day.

2. Do not kill swans.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Do not take Lamlamyarl's name in vain.

5. Never eat bark.