Tarptimyak is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, temperamental jaguar.

Tarptimyak created the Sombrero Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarptimyak, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tarptimyak, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tarptimyak's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tarptimyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nucleic acids.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help sick foxes.