Ortrutxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, irritating eagle.

Ortrutxuc created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortrutxuc, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortrutxuc, it will send minions to preach to you.

Ortrutxuc's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Ortrutxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Ortrutxuc loves rats, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.