Cebkimdad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody aardvark.

Cebkimdad created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebkimdad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cebkimdad, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cebkimdad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cebkimdad's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not keep eight swans in a large pit.