Gamnurtsid is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic shrew.

Gamnurtsid created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Gamnurtsid, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gamnurtsid, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gamnurtsid's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gamnurtsid's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not trade with those who eat apples.