Nurlhotkengar is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, vain grasshopper.

Nurlhotkengar created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlhotkengar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nurlhotkengar, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nurlhotkengar's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Nurlhotkengar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

4. Nurlhotkengar loves moths, so they must be honoured.

5. Pray towards the west.