Ablimtun is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, capable bear.

Ablimtun created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ablimtun, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ablimtun, it will laugh at you.

Ablimtun's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Ablimtun's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Retreat if three eagles approach from the south.

3. Worship no other gods but Ablimtun.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.