Rig is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unsympathetic gorilla.

Rig created the planet Mars two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rig, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Rig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Rig first in all things.

2. You must never eat peanuts.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.