Yikpogfas is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ill-tempered spider.

Yikpogfas created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yikpogfas, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yikpogfas, she will cry a lot.

Yikpogfas' most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Yikpogfas' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yikpogfas.

2. Never talk about squirrels.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.