Lenzagzig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, intelligent wren.

Lenzagzig created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenzagzig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lenzagzig, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Lenzagzig's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Lenzagzig's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never wear turquoise tights.

3. Do not eat turnips.

4. Never eat bread.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near capybaras while wearing magenta dresses.