Cemvonpas is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest chicken.

Cemvonpas created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemvonpas, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cemvonpas, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cemvonpas' most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Cemvonpas' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cemvonpas.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

4. Erect four platinum sculptures of Cemvonpas on top of important buildings.

5. Do not chop down trees.