Flabtaltam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, charitable bat.

Flabtaltam created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabtaltam, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flabtaltam, she will be mildly annoyed.

Flabtaltam's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Flabtaltam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of spinach to moths while wearing turquoise skirts.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Flabtaltam.

3. Run away from purple whales, for they are unholy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.