Bamtalgum is a god.

It takes the form of a large, intelligent zebra.

Bamtalgum created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Bamtalgum, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bamtalgum, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bamtalgum's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bamtalgum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.