Abartfly Gepponzig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, awesome ferret.

Abartfly Gepponzig created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abartfly Gepponzig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Abartfly Gepponzig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Abartfly Gepponzig's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Abartfly Gepponzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Abartfly Gepponzig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.