Vilbomcumhambundin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless hedgehog.

Vilbomcumhambundin created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilbomcumhambundin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vilbomcumhambundin, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vilbomcumhambundin's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Vilbomcumhambundin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four rats approach from the east.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.