Gupkenbess is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable human.

Gupkenbess created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupkenbess, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gupkenbess, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Gupkenbess' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gupkenbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat melons.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Never write about electromagnetism.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always obey Gupkenbess' priests.