Flantonbess is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, weak cat.

Flantonbess created the Sol system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flantonbess, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Flantonbess, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flantonbess' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flantonbess' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Flantonbess in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never wear orange hats.

4. Never feed garlic to ducks while wearing cyan scarves.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.