Konbissjon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, calm camel.

Konbissjon created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konbissjon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Konbissjon, he will jump up and down on your head.

Konbissjon's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Konbissjon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Konbissjon on top of all buildings.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Hide if nine ants approach from the south.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.