Abjopranhim is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, deceitful deer.

Abjopranhim created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abjopranhim, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Abjopranhim, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Abjopranhim's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Abjopranhim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three squirrels approach from the south.

2. Never hop in the presence of whales.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about enzymes.