Wonfebtomtar is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awe-inspiring salamander.

Wonfebtomtar created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Wonfebtomtar, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wonfebtomtar, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Wonfebtomtar's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Wonfebtomtar's Holy Commandments

1. Wonfebtomtar must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Put Wonfebtomtar first in all things.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never feed figs to seals while wearing red shoes.