Jongonkoncipjenquag Bomzigkom is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, flying penguin.

Jongonkoncipjenquag Bomzigkom created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jongonkoncipjenquag Bomzigkom, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jongonkoncipjenquag Bomzigkom, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Jongonkoncipjenquag Bomzigkom's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Jongonkoncipjenquag Bomzigkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never sit in the presence of seals.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Worship no other gods but Jongonkoncipjenquag Bomzigkom.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.