Nurlkinflam Yimyogflowlan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, fast meerkat.

Nurlkinflam Yimyogflowlan created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlkinflam Yimyogflowlan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nurlkinflam Yimyogflowlan, he will think nothing of it.

Nurlkinflam Yimyogflowlan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Nurlkinflam Yimyogflowlan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Do not keep eight mites in a large pit.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.