Sanwityok Gedcumkik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, wise squirrel.

Sanwityok Gedcumkik created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sanwityok Gedcumkik, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sanwityok Gedcumkik, he will send you a sign.

Sanwityok Gedcumkik's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Sanwityok Gedcumkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. You must love Sanwityok Gedcumkik.

3. Run away from mauve moths, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about photosynthesis.

5. Always help otters.