Litbonyarp is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciful hedgehog.

Litbonyarp created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litbonyarp, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Litbonyarp, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Litbonyarp's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Litbonyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always wear purple.