Fonkombass is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical clam.

Fonkombass created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonkombass, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fonkombass, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Fonkombass' most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Fonkombass' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near birds while wearing magenta corsets.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Run away from green nematodes, for they are unholy.

4. Fonkombass loves goats, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.